Conversion

Manifesting the principle that we need to be flexible, I started an hour or so ago to write about my battle of quietism and ended up with this instead! A Petrarchan sonnet for your consideration.

Conversion

Will this poor man surrender will to God

As urgent plea within his heart contends?

No desperation vast before him ends,

He has not come to truth by which he’s awed.

For many days and years this man has trod

against all effort, though ev’ry prayer commends.

Yet, soul, depraved, to ev’ry sin he bends

And kicks and screams against th’ eternal rod.

Have hope! This child does yet move in God’s grace

And Mercy! His most holy will enfolds

The awe-filled man embracing liberty!

He recognizes wherein ends the race

Heroic now his actions will be bold

Because he binds his will to actions free.

Comments are welcome! This is the first sonnet I've written since high school, so please let me know your thoughts. So far, I've received very little real criticism. An artist needs to know what to improve, so please feel free to share your thoughts!

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God bless!

Humility -- The first step out of our world of selfishness

I'm struck so many times during the day, looking back upon years of mercy, realizing that I have spent much time refusing God's love, sinning in such a manner as to enslave myself, looking all that time for freedom.

But God is a patient God, knowing our hearts better than we ever will.  God is a patient God, having sent His only Son to be our Savior and our Friend.  God is a patient God, reminding us of our failings only to guide us to His ocean of Mercy, welcoming us with open arms when we are ready to return.  The loving Father we are all seeking.

For myself, the return to God's mercy and friendship with Christ requires me to leave selfishness behind, closing the door on self-exaltation, rebuking the disdainful attitude that, even because of my particular sins, I am better than others.  Even now I pray for His grace and mercy that I may stop constantly seeking myself instead of Christ.  It seems that every day I forget about His love and friendship, thinking that if I had more things or more relationships of the sort I desire, then I would be fulfilled. But such a fulfillment is empty.  There is a spiritual void in the human heart that only God can fill.  Is it pride to think that someday selfish things will no longer attract me?

Ever since the early monks of the desert, Christian writers have focused on humility as the necessary path to enjoy the presence of God and ascend to the heights of Mt. Carmel.  And so I offer my tender reader some thoughts of St. Josemaría Escrivá on certain signs that one may not be humble.  If his reflections help you, I ask that you offer a prayer for my intentions.  These were not collected by me, I found them on the web page of a local priest, Fr. Francis Peffley.

The Seventeen Evidences of a Lack of Humility

From the Writings of St. Josemaría Escrivá

1. To think that what one says or does is better than what others say or do;

2. To always to want to get your own way;

3. To argue with stubbornness and bad manners whether you are right or wrong;

4. To give your opinion when it has not been requested or when charity does not demand it;

5. To look down on another's point of view;

6. Not to look on your gifts and abilities as lent (i.e. on loan to you from God);

7. Not to recognize that you are unworthy of all honors and esteem, not even of the earth you walk on and things you possess;

8. To use yourself as an example in conversations;

9. To speak badly of yourself so that others will think well of you or contradict you;

10. To excuse yourself when you are corrected;

11. To hide humiliating faults from your spiritual director, so that he will not change the impression he has of you;

12. To take pleasure in praise and compliments;

13. To be saddened because others are held in higher esteem;

14. To refuse to perform inferior tasks;

15. To seek to stand out;

16. To refer in conversation to your honesty, genius, dexterity, or professional prestige; and

17. To be ashamed because you lack certain goods.

Jesus, meek and humble of Heart, make my heart like unto Thine!